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[20 Jan 2035|04:05am] |
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| Nostalgia be a bitch... |
[01 Feb 2012|10:29pm] |
( Too Emo For Public Decency )
Ever have just a funky day? Like you just feel...I dunno, gray? I mean I kinda feel like Eeyore feeling sorry for myself because I lost my tail, kinda pathetic right? This mood wasn't made any better by allowing myself to get lost in some music tonight; music of my past, which allowed my mind to wander far too down the rabbit hole for its own good.
I am starting to believe I have tried way too hard to perhaps be something I am not, or maybe more correctly, I have tried to hard to obtain something I am not ready for or meant to have. It's a fine line we all walk here trying to figure out who we are...I'm in my forties and I still am not fully sure I understand all of myself or my desires. I do know that fear is crippling to so many things, and I have learned that it doesn't always get easier to handle with age. I know the world is a cruel and unforgiving place that takes, with out question, whatever it wants; and leaves us to deal with the left overs.
Yet, despite that I still have some hope. Granted, I am finding it hard to believe in it myself tonight...but I know it's there...somewhere.
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